What I have learned about the BDSM Lifestyle

Here is where the journey begins into the BDSM lifestyle. It is not a lifestyle that can be entered into lightly. There are many dangers out there for the ones that are new. Most say that it is to be based on 3 main things which are Safe, Sane and Consensual. But to me it is based not only on those three things. It all starts with getting to know each other as friends. Without friendship in place first how can someone consent to anything else much less anything sexual or to deal with the BDSM lifestyle?

Sure you can play dangerous games if you want but think about the family and/or kids that you may leave behind should you play dangerously.

To me there are many factors that play a major role into the lifestyle weather if you are new or have lived it for a long time. I will list what I think is more important to start a great D/s relationship. I know that many may agree and many may not agree but again this is what i think.

First take the time to know each other as a person. Then as a friend, find out what the other maybe seeking. This is where the ability to form a line of communication starts. Then start to build that D/s relationship on the friendship that Him and you had taken the time to build. For once that friendship is built then comes the trust and respect for one another. Once this is started you will see just how much honor each one has for the lifestyle. When you find the right One you will know it in your heart. It will be as it was the first time you thought that you had fallen in love but only better. You will not be able to do anything without thinking of how He might react to what you are doing, wearing, saying or even with your everyday chores. He will not only be in your mind but also your heart. You will do everything to please Him even if it is not real time yet.

Submission is the act of surrendering some or all of ones personal power to another person. It's allowing someone else to control your body and behavior within certain present limits. Submission is not something that can be demanded or forced. The definition of the word means it is a willing act. A submissive submits because they have chosen to do so, not because someone forced them. A submissive is motivated by the desire to please and to serve. A submissive has not given up their right to choose but has given some of those choices to another to make for them. The role of a submissive is to take care of all her Dom/Master's needs and desires. To be support of him. A submissive role varies in so many ways....as spiritual, sexual and emotional.

The Dom/Master and the submissive have to come to an agreement where they equally trust, honor, and respect each other. For these are the keys to a true relationship. When a submissive surrenders to her Dom/Master, she is surrendering the most important part of her...Her mind, body and soul. these become a gift from the submissive for they are precious and fragile as her life is. In Return for the surrender of the submissive, she receives the guidance, protection, and love. They need open and honest communication between them for so much goes hand and hand, as they each become half of a whole. With two halves they are complete as long as they both strive for the same desires and wants. She makes sure that her Dom/Master is happy and healthy in all aspects of life. She is more than just sexual; she becomes his student, for she is to learn from Him. He guides her along thru life, as He helps her make decisions she can not on her own.

When she surrenders her body she puts all of her trust in her Dom/Master. She pleases Him with all she is. Her body becomes His source for pleasure. At times that pleasure may come from learning to turn pain or un pleasurable moments into something wonderful they share together.

Here are the important things that I think O/one needs to have in order to build a very strong and unbreakable D/s relationship.

#1) RESPECT

#2) communication

#3) friendship

#4) trust

#5) loyalty to each other

#6) honor for themselves and each other

#7) to be SAFE

#8) to be SANE

#9) and for it to be done with CONSENT from both persons that are involved in the BDSM relationship.

One never stops learning things in the BDSM lifestyle. No matter how long they lived it. Yes most D/s relationships do begin online then carry over into real life. But as i have said many times without many of the things that i have already talked about there is no good bases to even think of trying to start a D/s relationship. i have listed a few links but they are many for the sub/slaves that either wants to learn and even for the ones that live it real life. i can not stress enough that this lifestyle can not be entered into lightly. For there are many out there in real and online that are only predators for the ones that either knows nothing of the lifestyle or is trying to learn it. For everyone i just want to stress it takes time and a lot of communication to build the perfect D/s relationship.

PLEASE DO NOT ENTER INTO A RELATIONSHIP WITHOUT KNOWING FIRST YOURSELF AND THEN THE OTHER PERSON!!!!!